Why I Want To Be Fit

Trish Parisy / Stock Xchng

I fell hard off the fitness wagon right after Halloween.  Theo got sick and we were homebound for 2 whole weeks, and then I got sick, and then Theo got sick again (his class is filled with these extremely infectious creatures otherwise known as children), and with the both of us sick for so long I either didn't feel well enough to exercise or was just too tired to.  It was the worst possible time to fall off the fitness wagon, of course, because it was during the holidays.  I literally ate my way through the holidays, and didn't work out at all, so I gained a whopping 11.5 pounds.  Yep, you read that right, ELEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS.  When I got on the scale last Monday it said I was 167.5 pounds, and I almost wept.  I felt like such a failure.  After all of the hard work I'd done as a Lucille Roberts ambassador I felt like I went and failed myself big time.  I know that many people gain during the holidays, and with Theo and I being so sick there was very little opportunity for me to hit the gym, but still - 11.5 pounds?  It just felt like such a huge defeat.

Last week I started a 3-month job contract at an office.  I work from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm, after which I race to pick Theo up from the sitter and bring him home to spend a little time with him before bath and bedtime begins.  I know myself well enough to know that there would be no way that I would have the energy after such a long day to work out after 8 pm, when Theo is finally in bed.  So, this week, after receiving my Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD in the mail, I have been getting up at around 6 in the morning to work out before I start my day.  Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I am not a morning person.  Leave it up to me and I wouldn't crawl out of bed before noon, so the idea of waking up at six in the morning seemed like torture to me.  I've done it for the past two days and, while I had to fight myself tooth and nail to get out of bed, once I'm out and my work out is finished I feel really good.  And proud.  I'm not kidding when I say that it takes a whole lot from me to get out of bed early, I'm the wait-until-the-last-minute kind of waker-upper.  To get up 45 minutes early?  To work out?  This is huge sign of delayed onset of maturity in that department.  And while it's only been 2 days, it feels like a huge accomplishment to me that I've done it at all.  I want to keep this up, though, so I need to stay focused.

Last week, since I knew I wasn't going to be able to work out, I was so uber careful with what I ate, that I managed to lose 4 whole pounds in a week!  Can I just say how much that goes to show that I was eating really super-fattening foods (and way too much of them), for the last 2 months if I could lose 4 pounds in one week just by eating healthy foods in normal, human-sized portions?  As of yesterday I'm down to 163.5, so I know that I am back on the right track now.  The weight loss will probably slow down to about 1 to 2 pounds a week from here on out, which I'm fine with.  By the time my birthday in May comes along I'd like to fit into a dress that makes me look hot as hell for a 39 year old.  Dear God...I'm going to be 39.  ...sigh...

Anyway, the biggest reason I want to be fit is so that I am healthy and here for many decades to come.  I want to be healthy enough to fully enjoy my life while I have it.  I also want to look good, let's not lie, but it's more about feeling good.  When I work out I feel good, not just physically, but I feel good about myself.  That I did something for Issa - because she matters, too.  So, here I am, back in the fitness saddle.  Again.  And while I am a little ashamed that I ever fell off of it to begin with, the most important thing is that I keep getting back on.  Fitness is for life, and I'm going to keep at it.  For life.