Simplicity

Cozgrl05 / Stock Xchng

I realized today that I have wanted many things over the course of my life.  Some of these things didn't come true (or haven't as yet), and the things that have come true never seem to happen without some sort of drawback to them.  It seems like the old adage. "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it", rings true in my life, and that can feel frustrating sometimes.  If it rings true in your life it must feel frustrating for you as well.  Wanting something so very much and then finally getting it, only to have it entangled with things you neither expected nor wanted, can be hugely anti-climactic.  Adjusting your perspective to one of gratitude that your desire came to fruition at all, while necessary, can be hard to do at times. 

As I get older, I put more and more value on the role of simplicity in my life.  I'd like for my desires to come true simply, clearly, without all of the added baggage that comes with it (like spending 13 years dealing with infertility only to finally get pregnant and ending up doing the whole thing all by myself.  Or finally becoming a writer like I always wanted but having to live a mostly bare-bones life because of the financial instability of being a freelance writer).  I'd like for wishes to come true exactly as I envisioned them!  Every time!  Except, that rarely ever happens in real life, does it?  I suspect that there are reasons for that, but I'm not quite enlightened enough yet to know what they are so I won't even sit here and try to figure them out.  What I do feel sure of is that I eventually learn from it all.  It may take me longer than I'd like, but I am constantly learning from my life, and from what transpires within it.  I am grateful that I am able to see the lessons in my life and grow from them.  What I'm learning lately keeps coming back to simplicity.

The entire world has gotten downsized since 2008.  "Wants" have gotten smaller, and "needs" have been re-examined as well.  I think beyond most people's desire for simplicity is a real need for it, as the world's resources have gotten smaller and smaller.  My own needs have been scaled back to a minimum and I'm more than okay with that.  There are certain things I'd like for my son, mostly educational and cultural enrichment needs, that I hope to provide for him, but beyond that I live a fairly simple life in comparison to the upscale New York City lifestyle I had prior to September 2008.  I don't miss that lifestyle much, mostly because I am the single mother of a 4 year old and my whole life revolves around him and writing.  There's very little energy left (none at all, actually), for going out and being fabulously social.  I also don't miss it much because I have made my inner life match the simplicity of my outer life.  You don't need much more in life than a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back, the people you love most in your life, and coffee (no, seriously, coffee is an utter necessity for me.  Seriously, I'm not kidding).  Paring down my life to the bare minmum has allowed me to see what is truly a "need", and to realize that because those needs are being met, I can free up mental energy to do the things that matter: parent my son, write, and be with the people I love most.  There is still the part of me that wants expensive luxuries.  There is still the part of me that wants to travel the world in style.  There is still a part of me that wants a lot of things.  Bringing simplicity into my life, though, I realize that I am fortunate beyond measure for what I do have, and I am grateful right where I stand.

The next time a wish comes true, and it doesn't turn out exactly how I imagined it would, I know I will probably still be highly annoyed.  Hey, I'm human.  I will, however, be able to move past the disappointment and acknowledge that at least my needs are being met.  I can stand in a place of gratitude, of positivity, and simply be.  Teaching Theo to reach for the stars while being firmly grounded in reality will be a gift that we can both use to grow simple, happy lives.