Merry Christmas!

Photo Credit: Robert Proksa / Stock Xcnhg

I would like to wish all of my Friends a very Merry Christmas!  I send an even bigger, warmer hug to those of you who are single moms and whose children are spending Christmas with their fathers.  I chose the image to the left because for me it symbolizes what it might feel like to not be able to spend Christmas with your own children; it's still Christmas but it's been a bit unraveled somehow.  Some of you may have grown perfectly fine with alternating holidays with your children's father, and if so that is wonderful!  I hope you have a fabulous day and that you get a sweet buzz from that spiked Egg Nog!  ;-)
 
For others though, this time might be a difficult one for you, and I would like to ask that if you are feeling sad, depressed, or alone - that you not isolate yourself.  I do that a lot and it isn't always a good thing.  Seek out the company of family and friends and find some joy in the day for yourself, because you deserve to be happy.  It's Christmas for you, too!  If you are far away from home and do not have family or friends close by, go to your place of worship, or perhaps you could go to a soup kitchen or shelter and help those who are less fortunate than you are.  It might sound cliched but often times in helping others, we not only get to feel the joy of being of service but we get to have our gratitude for all that we do have in life renewed.  Do whatever it is you feel best suits you, but please, make sure you are with others, sharing in the spirit of this time.  When your little ones return to you your own spirit will be all the lighter for having nurtured it.

Merry Christmas! BIG love and hugs to you all; today, and always.  XOXO!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Making The Best Of It (Or Counting My Blessings)

Photo Credit: q83 / Stock Xchng

As a single mom (or any mom, for that matter), do you ever feel as if so much of your life is you "making the best of it"?  Too much of your life?  I know that making the best of it can be a wonderfully positive way to turn negative things around in ones life, and that making the best of it is all one can really do when the chips are down.  Sometimes though, I feel like I have spent a little too much of my life making the best of it and not reveling in the joy that my life has to offer.  I need to start counting my blessings instead of just getting through my days and making the best of it!

Healthy, intelligent, stubborn child.  Check!
A roof over my head in the middle of Manhattan.  Check!
Food in our bellies.  Check!
Good health.  Check!
Parents who love and support me in all that I do and need.  Check!
Very close friends (who are like sisters to me), who are loving and supportive of me.  Check!
Actualizing my childhood dream of being a paid writer (regardless of the pay not being steady).  Check!

While I realize that I can't be in a happy space all of the time, what I can control is my level of gratitude; and I have a funny feeling that the more I focus on gratitude -- and express that gratitude -- the happier I will be.  So, tell me, what are the things you are most grateful for?

Wordless Wednesday

Creating Your Own Family Traditions As Single Moms

Photo Credit: Canna_W / Stock Xchng

I was reading an interesting article about single moms still keeping the 'Family' in Holiday Family Traditions, even when it was just them and the kids, and it got me to thinking about how we view the term "family".  Why is it that just because there is a father absent from the home do some believe that your family is "less than" or "broken" somehow?  It seems pretty silly to me.  My son and I are family - we are A family.  Just because there are only 2 of us in our immediate family doesn't make it broken or less than in any way.  I think that the sooner we as single moms get out of thinking that our family is broken (it's not broken, just different is all), the more we will start feeling whole again, and the less we will lament our fate as single parents (for those who do lament it, that is).

Anyway, family traditions can be large or small, I don't think the size of them really matters.  It's the comfort you create - and feel - knowing that when certain times are among us that certain experiences - happy, joyful experiences - will be there for the family to enjoy together.  This year I started the mini-Christmas Tree tradition, where Theo picks out our very own mini-Christmas Tree and helps me decorate it.  I plan on having him do this every year from now on.  As he gets older I will incorporate new activities into our holiday celebrations and look forward to making them traditions that our family - yes, our family of two - can enjoy for years to come.

I think this holiday season is a perfect time to start creating your family traditions, if you haven't already.  Is there something you and your children can do to mark the beginning of this holiday season, or to celebrate the actual holidays once they arrive?  Decorating the house and/or tree, creating handmade dreidels, a night of Christmas Caroling; there are many ways in which you and your children can use this holiday season to cement your togetherness as a family.  I'm sure you are already thinking of ways in which to create special holiday memories for your children, but when you do them together as a family, that joy is there for you to enjoy, too.  Whatever you do, I wish you all a holiday season filled with joy, peace, and above all else, love -- from my family, to yours.

Single Moms, You Are NEVER Alone

Credit: John Lewis / Stock Xchng

I know that as a single mom it often feels as if you are alone in your daily struggle to earn a living; raise your children into healthy, happy people; and to retain just a bit of what's left of your sanity.  I know that sometimes it can feel like a hugely daunting task to do it all and not buckle under the immense weight.  I know being a single mom is the most difficult job you have ever had and I also know that being a single mom is the one job that means the most to you, and the one that you are the most dedicated to.  I also know that many single moms out there are having a particularly rough time of it recently, whether it is due to the holiday season, or whatever else might be going on.  Please, hang in there, Sister. 

Hang in there because your children need you.  Hang in there because your friends and loved ones value you.  Mostly though?  Hang in there because you matter.  The woman inside of the single mom.  The scared, overwhelmed, exhausted and uncertain woman in there deserves to be validated and nurtured and cared for.  You matter.  Without you there is no happy home for your little ones, and without you there is someone (probably several people) on this earth, whether you realize it or not, for whom a part of them would die if you were no longer here.  So hang in there.  If you feel sad, go ahead and feel it.  If you feel angry, go ahead and feel that too.  Whatever "negative" emotions you may be feeling, allow them.  What you resist persists.  Feel whatever it is that you are feeling fully, and then when it's time, let it go.  Get up, shake it off, and let it go.  Try to appreciate those feelings for what they are, though; signals that you are in a place that does not suite you, a place from which you'd like to leave.  That's okay.  How would you know that your skin was burning if it didn't hurt when you put your hand in fire?  Take those emotions and use them as a catalyst to change things for yourself, in whatever ways, large or small, that may make this journey of single parenthood a more enjoyable one for you -- because whether you want to be a single mom or not, you are one, and there's no use in being miserable about it while you are here.  There are too many things to enjoy about this journey, so do what you can to feel those magical moments.  Can you call a friend or family member who is unfailingly supportive of you?  Can you splurge on a massage or manicure/pedicure?  Can you put the kids to bed a little early and watch that "guilty pleasure" on TV, or read a good book a few nights in a row?  Whatever you need to do to recharge, do it.  You deserve to feel good, even in the midst of a storm.

Also, please know that I am here.  Email me and I can coach you toward a place in which you feel truly strengthened and empowered.  The irony of my life has been that even when life feels its most bleak for me, I have always been able to help others through their dark times.  It's a gift to be able to shore others up when I myself am hurting -- often times it helps me hurt less.  So reach out, to friends, to family, to me -- to whomever you feel would offer comfort and understanding -- but please, just know, you are never alone.

Wordless Wednesday

Cards For Your Kids

I have a friend who I've known since High School, and he is a smart, creative guy who used to be an advertising agency Art Director and is now a Stay-at-home-Dad.  When Sam realized that exchanging contact information with other parents (mostly women), for play dates was awkward he came up with a pretty cool product.  He realized that maybe there were others out there who felt that socializing with other parents could sometimes be difficult, and that getting play dates for your children could sometimes feel like a daunting task when you didn't know how to approach it.  Enter Cards For Your Kids!

Cards For Your Kids is like a business card for your kid - and we all know that kids take their work of playing very seriously!  Cards For Your Kids is a unique tool that you can use on the playground, at the supermarket, wherever you find your child socializing with other little people.  Your kid strikes up a friendship with someone on the slides?  Walk over to their parent or caregiver and give them this:

(The contact information has been altered for privacy purposes but this is an exact replica of Theo's actual card.)

The great thing about Theo's card is that I can use it to let people know that he has a dairy allergy so that if they give him snacks while he is at their house for a play date, they know to give him the dairy-free kind.  That helps this Mama breathe a bit easier.

Here's more you should know about Cards For Your Kids:

• Information on the card can include parents phone numbers, allergy and medical info, babysitter’s number, and a personalized Gmail account set up for your child.  You can also, as I did, have their email account set up so that you receive a copy of every email they receive.

• Great for new moms, dads, or babysitters. Great gift for a current parent or for a baby shower.

• They feature environmentally-safe paper in 27 vibrant colors and two paper weights from The French Paper Company (Americas only 100% hydro-electric powered mill).

• Offers 10 predesigned layouts. 156 images that can be substituted. 59 water-based ink colors.

• Each card is individually screen-printed distinct from mass-produced digital or offset printed cards.

• Also offers customized designs and custom silhouettes of your child.

• 50 cards (Deluxe 100lb) go for $60, and 50 cards (Premium 140lb) goes for $80 (which includes a Kraft card holder), but Sam has offered all of my readers a discount: order before December 31st and get $10 off your order when you use code singlemom10.  Sweet!

So, now you have the perfect holiday gift for that parent you think has it all already -- because for sure they do not have cards for their kids!

Wordless Wednesday