Defining My Life

Thanks to a fellow single mama blogger, LoveBabz, I decided to re-post an amazing list she posted with my own answers. I see it as a Defining My Life list, because you know what? If you don't define your life, others will try to. So here it goes:

Saying "NO" to:
Lack
Worry
Fear
Anger
Judgment
Mediocrity

Saying "YES" to:
Financial Abundance
Full Self-Expression
Success
Happiness
Health
Love, In All Its Forms

Giddy About:

Achieving My Career Goals
Getting Physically Fit
Starting To See My Body Change For The Better
Consistently Believing In Myself and The Universe

Scared Of:
Being Lazy
Getting Discouraged
Self-Sabotage
Things Out Of My Control (which is dumb, but hey, I'm human)

Deeply Inspired By:

My Grandmother's Strength
The People I know Who Have Lived Through Child Abuse And Are Amazing Parents Regardless
My Ability To Come Through Rock Bottom (over and over again)
Single Moms Who Have Achieved (and Are Still Achieving) Their Goals In Life

Obsessed With:
Being The Best Mother I Can Possibly Be
Ice Cream and Pizza (...sigh...)
Writing
Reading
Losing Weight, Getting and STAYING At My Goal Weight

In Love With:
My Son
Writing
Reading
My Support System
New York City
Ice Cream and Pizza (...sigh...)

Haunted By:
My Penchant For Laziness
Bad Choices
Ice Cream and Pizza (...sigh...)

Saved By:

MY SON!
My Family and Friends
Reading
Writing
Buddhism
Music
Being An Old Soul

If you create your own list, will you share it with me? I'd love to read it!

R Baby Foundation and the Mother's Day Run/Walk

As Mothers, you may not have heard of one of the most important foundations out there, R Baby Foundation. Born from the heart-wrenching loss of the foundation's Founders, Phyllis and Andrew Rabinowitz, this foundation is focused on saving the lives of thousands of infants who die in this country's Emergency Rooms due to lack of proper pediatric care services. Meeting Phyllis in person was both extremely moving and incredibly inspiring, as she is a pillar of strength and conviction. The Rabinowitz family lost their baby, Rebecca, when she was only 9 days old from something that was misdiagnosed because there were no pediatric staff on site at the ER that they went to. R Baby Foundation's mission is to get the ERs in this country staffed with a knowledgable member of the hospital's pediatric staff so that a fatal misdiagnosis like this never happens again.

I'd like to take this opportunity to ask you to join me this year for the R Baby Foundation's Mother’s Day Run/Walk: feel free to walk on your own or with your family, or join me and we can create our own team! Also, if you would like to put their “I support R Baby Foundation” button on your own blog or website, it can be found here (http://trakvu.com/rbaby-badge/).

They have archived a series of short-form blog-friendly articles, which are housed on (http://rbabyfoundation.com/live.php). They also have a copy of the full video from the event they held where I was honored to meet Phyllis Rabinowitz in person. Feel free to use any or all of these for your own sites as well.

Please email me directly if you would like to join me for the Mother's Day Run/Walk, or if you have any questions about the walk or the Foundation. I'm looking forward to hearing from you! Xoxo!

Kiva.org

I certainly didn't make it to the Forbes Richest People list this year (by like, a Billion bucks), but when it comes to helping others - especially single moms - I do whatever I can. Kiva.org is an amazing organization that gives micro-loans to very small businesses abroad to combat the level of poverty in the communities they affect. I have been a lender since January of 2008 when I saw them being featured on a morning news program before I went off to my corporate job. I thought, "Here I am, with more than enough money, and there are families struggling to become self-sufficient in the world." So I lent to 3 families initially, at only $25 per loan. For $75 bucks I helped THREE families all over the world get closer to the amount of the loan they requested, and thereby buy the livestock, clothing, produce or whatever else it was that they were selling to either start a new business or to keep their existing businesses running. That $75 has been re-paid to me - every single time. The great thing is that now that I don't have the cushy corporate gig and I have my own little financial struggles as a freelance writer, I don't have to dig into my somewhat thin pockets to give to Kiva. I just go back and re-loan the money that has been repaid to me, picking three new families to assist each time. I've done that three times now, helping 9 different families over the past 2 years! There are all kinds of families to assist, but I always choose the single moms. The great thing about this is that it is a loan, so if you are the kind of person who balks at giving your money away (I am not, I've given much to charities over the years, but I've heard from others who feel differently and I can respect their positions), you can feel confident in knowing that you are merely giving a micro-loan and that it will be repaid to you. If you choose to withdraw your money once it has been repaid you can, you are not obligated to re-loan.

I wanted to share this with you because as I re-loaned for my third time last night, I realized that there were all these single mom families all over the world, with no government or family resources to draw from, that were earnestly trying to make an honest living for themselves and their families, and it dawned on me that you might like to support them as well. I am in NO way affiliated with them in any other capacity than as a micro-lender, nor have they asked me to write this. I just know that when we Mamas see other Mamas in need, we tend to want to help in some way, and this is definitely one of them.

XOXO!!!

How Do You Know When You're Beautiful, Inside And Out?

I entered the Beautiful U Spa Sweepstakes today on Oprah.com and to enter all you had to do was answer the following question: How do you know when you're beautiful, inside and out? Here's what I submitted:

As a single mom of a 2 year old I know I'm beautiful when I've fed my son, changed diapers, dressed him, gone to the store and lugged back groceries on the handles of his stroller, given him lunch, put him down for a nap, done a few loads of laundry, gotten him up from his nap, given him a snack, taken him to the park, and on the way there a handsome man smiles at me and says, "Have a great day, Gorgeous". And I'm wearing an old Tshirt, ratty jeans and sneakers! This, to me, has to mean that I not only am beautiful on the outside, but the joy I feel on the inside at having my blessing of a son with me must be radiating out from within.

It's not always easy for me to feel beautiful, but I have been feeling stronger the last 10 days since I started excercising, and feeling strong makes me feel beautiful too. How do YOU know when you're beautiful, inside and out?

Today Is National Single Parent Day!

Now, you and I both know that EVERY day is Single Parent Day for some of us, but today we get to actually celebrate ourselves! 364 days out of the year I am very humble about what I accomplish because I simply do what must be done. My love for my son and my desire to be the best mother I can possibly be keeps me focused on the job of raising a strong, happy, well-adjusted little boy, and there's little time for accolades. But today I get to be boastful and declare that I am Bad Mamajama!!!

Today I will make absolutely sure that I do at least one good thing for myself, to celebrate both Theo's Mama, and Issa, the woman behind the Mama. What can you do for yourself today, even if you don't have a sitter to let you get away for a short while? Well, maybe you can:

- Buy yourself that small "something special" you've been eyeing that you've consistently talked yourself out of.
- Get really dressed up (even if all you will do today is go to the store!). Dressing up can make you feel really good. So, ladies, put on that fabulous dress and those sexy high heels. Guys, put on your best dress shirt and slacks, and those dress shoes that may rarely get worn. You'll look as important as you are!
- Do absolutely nothing! Don't clean a thing today, order in breakfast, lunch, or dinner (or all three if you're able!)
- Go out with other single parent friends and all of your kids and go to the zoo, park or just for a long walk. That way you can socialize with adults and spend time with your kids as well, without sacrificing either.
- Put the kid(s) to bed early tonight, run a a warm bubble bath, pour yourself a glass of wine, and read that book you never have time to read.

I'd love it if you left a comment and let me know you celebrated Single Parent Day. Enjoy today, you deserve it!!! Xoxo!

Nominate A Single Mom For The Exceptional Mom Award

As a single mom of African descent (via Puerto Rico), I want to share something that is near and dear to my heart. Raising Him Alone is launching the Exceptional Mom Award for American single mothers of African descent who are doing an exceptional job raising sons. Do you know one you would like to nominate?http://www.raisinghimalone.com/spotlight.htm

Even if your nominee doesn't win the award, please make it a point to acknowledge the single moms you know, regardless of their ethnic heritage. It's a true labor of love, this single mom thing, and sharing the love lightens the load.

The Pleasure Principle

No, I'm not referring to the old Janet Jackson song.

Pleasure principle (psychology):
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The pleasure principle is a psychoanalytic concept, originated by Sigmund Freud. The pleasure principle states that people seek pleasure and avoid pain, i.e., people seek to satisfy biological and psychological needs.

This principle applies to pretty much everyone on the planet, but I'm super duper good at this. Which is why I'm 25 pounds overweight, and so unfit I can't carry my 32 pound kid for more that 2.2 seconds, or climb a flight of stairs without panting like a Rottweiler in August. I like to eat, dammit. And I DON'T like to work out. Dammit. I like to eat rich, decadent foods without having to count calories or avoid cheese, butter, fried foods and ice cream. The problem with that though? I mean, besides imminent heart failure if I keep that up? I'm vain. So, when I look at pictures of myself with a bit of a double chin and more than a bit of a gut, I'm so disgusted with myself that I get back on the wagon again.

As you probably know, I've been doing Nutrisystem for a little over 3 weeks now and I've lost 7 pounds. I hadn't worked out until yesterday though (in my defense I'd been really ill so I wasn't at all up to the challenge of working out). Yesterday I finally did work out and afterward I felt GREAT!

Today? Today I feel like I was beaten in my sleep. I woke up to unimaginable soreness all over my body. I really, really wanted to work out today again so that I develop a daily routine, but I think the Pleasure Principle is kicking in. I mean, it hurts to stand up, how the heck am I going to work out?

Well, at least we know I'm not a Masochist.

A Super Exciting Announcement!

Several months ago I was asked to be a part of something very different, and very exciting. It has taken a lot of work and I can now finally make an announcement about it.

It all started as an idea of John Caplan, former CEO of Ford Models (No, I won't be a new Plus Size Model - Ha!). John was out with his son discovering the plentiful shopping options in NYC. The places they went into though were the little shops, not the mega-stores. The knowledge and enthusiasm of the shopkeepers left an indelible mark on John. Listening to the shopkeepers as they exuded excitement at being able to share their passion with others, John realized that was the way online shopping could be revolutionized. If he found other people who were just as passionate about either the products, crafts, or causes that moved them, maybe he could create a community of shopkeepers that brought back the old Main Street feel to the shopping experience. Of course, in the cyber world, who better for John to partner with than Bloggers? Smart man, eh?

The OpenSky team contacted me and asked if I would set up a shop that shared the toys, products and any other items that made my life as a single parent easier and more enjoyable. I started making a list of all of the things that Theo enjoys playing with (that give me small pockets of time within which to work). As a Single Mama, especially one that works from home, that was first on my list. The OpenSky team has been working hard to find as many of the items as they could. It wasn't at all as easy as we might've hoped, but we never, ever gave up. So, with all of that said, I invite you to come into my OpenSky shop here. Right now, it's filled with my favorite Melissa and Doug products, the products that Theo has played with and enjoyed for a while now - products that give this mama some time do things around the house or on the computer. We're still working to fill the shop with other things besides my fave Melissa and Doug items though, so be sure to come back to the shop regularly. Even if you aren't a single mom (and many of you aren't, I know!), the items in my shop will be of value to you. So come on over - you'll be glad you did!

Are You In NYC And Able To Join Me At An Event?

I was just invited to a fabulous event next Tuesday, March 9th, from 3pm to 7pm, for bloggers AND their readers! Located at Chelsea Market (75 9th Avenue, NYC), we will be joining iVillage and DOVE Chocolate as they offer an afternoon filled with DOVE Chocolate and Gallo Wine Pairings, beauty and relaxation treatments, music and more! Please email me if you would like to attend - hoping to see you there! XOXO.

Being In The Hospital Sucks - Especially When You're A Single Mama

I spent my Saturday night this past weekend, all the way into Sunday late morning, in the hospital. What I (and they) thought was my appendix about to burst ended up being an old problem with very aggressive uterine and ovarian cysts gone bad. And I mean really bad. I had ignored the pain for about 6 days but when I couldn't ignore it anymore I called my mom to see if she would come back from PA a day early so that I could go to the ER the next day. The Universe was smiling on me though and she just so happened to be in the city, which she never is, having done something for her mother-in-law that ran very late, so she decided not to go back to PA and just stay in NYC. Thankfully she was able to come right over and I then went to the ER. Alone. I was okay with that, much happier that my baby was at home with his Abuela, safe and sound, than I was upset that I had to do yet another fairly major thing in my life completely alone. I'm a trooper I told myself, and it's true. 7 hours later though, after a CAT scan and lots of worry, I saw a guy taking care of his sick girl, covering her with blankets and rubbing her and loving on her, and out of nowhere the tears started to fall. I was so mad at my self for getting all "woe is me", but the truth was suddenly very apparent - even I need somebody to take of me, sometimes.

I texted my wonderful Sis and told her how I was feeling and she said to stop crying and coveting their situation because he was probably the one who put her in the hospital in the first place! I literally Laughed Out Loud, and then texted back that no, she looked really sick. She texted back, He's probably poisoning her slowly. Well, don't you know, the giggles that ensued cheered me right up. Gotta love our sick sense of humor - but hey, it did the trick!