One of my best friends lost a loved one last week, and being there to support her reminded me of all the ways in which we are truly social beings. I'm a bit of a loner, I always have been, and have never been one to have a huge group of friends. I may have had many acquaintances in my life, but 3 or 4 really close friends is usually all I need. My closest friends will tell you that when I am going through something heavy I usually retreat into myself and need lots of alone time to process and heal. Yet when I come out of my little cave it is so very important to have true friends there to welcome me back, without judgment, and with lots of love.
Please, if you have friends, even just 1, who have been there for you when you needed them, take this time to tell them that you love them and appreciate them. I don't think any of us, even the most independent among us, can go this journey alone. Having someone to hug you and say, "I know this hurts right now, but I'm here. You're not alone.", can make all the difference in the world. And if someone you love loses someone they love, you might not know what to say. You might think you aren't qualified or capable to be supportive during that time. Trust me when I tell you that you don't have to say a thing. Sit there, silently, and just be their rock. Being there and saying nothing at all is better than not showing up because you don't quite know what to say. You never truly know how powerfully you can impact another, but you can always start by just saying I love you.
5 comments:
WELL SAID!
What a kind and thought provoking post! Thanks for sharing.
How true. I lost some friends when I started having babies; I actually was aware that our lifestyles were growing apart but I didn't even talk about the kids, knowing they wanted to talk about other things over cocktails; it didn't matter how I tried to remain a part of it, I had changed and there was nothing I could...or wanted...to do about it. So off they went and those who remained stayed loyal and are and will be very important in my life. I too tend to hibernate during hard times but those old friends...and a few new ones...are always there when I recover.
I'm really glad you have friends like that too, it is so important to be able to just be.
Helen xx
I'm a loner too. No surprise to you I'm sure. This is a good reminder for me because I forget that sometimes I really need to make the effort to be there for the ones that always have my back.
I have tears right now...
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