So, usually when I decide to lose some weight I get on my diet (usually it's the South Beach Diet except for when I went back to work afer my Maternity Leave and I did NutriSystem for almost 4 months), I am pretty disciplined, and I reach the weight I set as a goal. But this time? Ugh. This time, I ain't doing so good. I'm really failing at being disciplined about it this time around. The irony is, I think it has to do with the fact that I have come to a place where I feel accepting of my body. I don't like being this chunky during the summer, there is way too much exposed skin everywhere, and living in one of the major fashion capitals of the world, I am surrounded by gorgeous women in fabulous size 4 outfits - and they think THEY'RE fat! So, it majorly sucks to be chunky in New York City in the summer. It does. But, having said that, I have to be honest about the fact that after 36 years of doing battle with my body, I'm starting to accept it for what it is. For what I look like. I'll never be a size 4, and quite frankly, I don't want to be. I'm a voluptuous woman, and a woman with curves is SEXY, dammit. Lol. I could stand to tone up a whole lot, but frankly, I think I'm going to stop worrying about my weight so darn much. I'll keep doing my Cardio Pilates DVD to make sure I am fit (I want to be around for a long time, I have a little boy I want to watch grow into manhood), but as far as strict dieting and worrying that at barely clearing 5'5" I need to go from the tight size 12 that I am to the loose size 8 that I have set before myself as some sort of Holy Grail Jean Size, I'm done with it. I really think that I'm finally starting to see myself with more accepting eyes.
Now, I am absolutely aware of the fact that this could very well be a ploy of my subconscious mind to justify eating some Hagen Dazs . . .
6 comments:
You know what? Exercise is key...and as long as you're keeping your heart active and healthy and giving it good foods to balance the bad...you are FINE. :) Just find joy in sweating and panting (and I'm not talking the bedroom stuff, hee hee hee...okay, at least not most of the time). Working out can bring good highs to your mental state. And then...having the cold ice cream afterward...nothing better. ;)
Oh the word DIET makes me quiver. But I suppose we all need it from time to time. Does walking the grocery store count? hahaha Stopping by from SITS!
Stopping by from SITS...
I must say that I have to agree with you! I think it's wonderful that you're learning to accept your body the way that it is!
I'm with you 100%. I'm bigger than I've ever been and I'm having a hard time losing the weight, but I just can't beat myself up about it. This is where I'm at right now and I'm ok with it.
Unknown Mami -- I'm having trouble posting comments on your site. When I'm on your site a dialogue box comes up that reads "Internet Explorer cannot open the Internet site http://unknownmami.blogspot.com/. Operation aborted. I've been trying all day. It happened a couple of times the other day but I eventually got through afer a few tries. Today no luck. I'm thinking it's a Blogspot issue... :-(
Boy, do I know what you mean! I'm only 5' 1" and it's become a bigger struggle to lose weight as I get older. I know I'm not meant to be a really thin person - just not in my body type, so on many days I can accept that. It is hard when the summer months come to be happy with it though.
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