I turn 36 tomorrow. There, I said it. The big 36. I am no longer in either of the "cool groups" you check off on questionaires: 18 - 25, or 26 - 35. No, now I'm in the 36 - 45 age group. Yeah, uh huh, I'm middle aged. What the . . . ??? When did that happen? I don't look middle aged. Middle aged??? WHAT THE . . . ??????
Lol, I'm not really having a mid-life crisis (although I fully expect to be alive until I'm 102, so technically I won't be middle aged until I'm 51). I'm just realizing that I'm no spring chicken anymore. I've never really felt young anyway, so that hasn't changed. I've always been referred to as an "old soul", and I certainly have always felt that way, since I was a little kid. Teachers, my mom's friends, family members, and just random adults always said I was such a mature kid -- almost too much so. I'm only now learning how to "let go", as it were. One of my friends actually calls me "Grandma" because I act like such an old lady sometimes, and she's a year older than I am! So, it's not that I don't want to feel old, because I've actually always felt old. I'm just beyond amazed at how quickly my life has gone by. And the older I get, the quicker it all seems to go! Now with Theo in my life, I would love if it slowed down a bit so that I can enjoy every moment of this journey with him while he is still so small. I know I'm asking for the impossible though.
I'm actually looking at this birthday as the beginning of my own personal New Year. I plan to wipe the slate clean of as much of my past as possible and go forward with a lighter load and a brand new canvas that I can paint anyway I choose. And what do I choose? Happiness. Peace. Love. Everyday -- no matter what. Because in the end, I have a funny feeling that those are the only things that truly matter.
I'm just glad I don't look my age. Everyone says I look younger than I am, and that helps a lot! :-)
Uhm, what do you think; I don't look 36, do I?