Tax Tips For Single Parents

My article on H&R Block regarding tax tips for single parents: http://t.co/FLwRzXkpH5

Wordless Wednesday

The Way Forward Is With A Broken Heart

I want to write something that will comfort. I want to write something that will bring some sense to this senseless act. I want to write something that will provide a solution: more humane, compassion-based treatment for the mentally ill; stricter gun control laws; less media sensationalism so that desperate people no longer think "going out in a blaze of 'glory'" is akin to snuffing out innocent lives.

 

None of that matters, though.
 

This morning, if she slept at all, a mother woke up and was beaten bloody by the immediate thought: "My baby is dead." I woke up this morning and that was my first thought; the parents who are feeling the beyond-excruciating pain of an incomprehensible loss. I hurt then, as if I'd been hit in the gut. I curled up in the fetal position and laid there, wishing that I could take their pain into me, that I could somehow help them hurt less. I can't, though, and no matter the pain I feel for them as a mother, no matter the public discourse on possible "solutions", no matter the blame that will be laid at how this gruesome tragedy could have been avoided, there are no words that can soothe, make right, make less such horrific pain.
 

Alice Walker once wrote a book with the title "The Way Forward Is With A Broken Heart". That has never been more true than right now, this very minute. My heart is broken for those who lost their babies, my heart is broken for the children of Newtown, CT whose innocence was also murdered, and my heart is broken for a world in which incidents like these are becoming "commonplace".
 

As we all now sit with heavy hearts, my hope is that the way forward, while forevermore with a broken heart, will also be with the desire to love more and judge less. There are no simple solutions; we must simply love. You cannot cure this world of pain nor of hate with anger and self-righteous piety. Only love can mend a broken heart.
 

None of us is promised tomorrow, so love hard today, my beautiful friends. Love out loud and with total abandon today and every day. The way forward may indeed be with a broken heart, but as Rumi said, "The wound is the place where the light enters you."
 

Be the light, my loves. Be the light.

Wordless Wednesday

New Beginnings Using The Same Old Energy

Robert Linder / Stock Xchng

We've all been here: tired of what your life is looking like, you vow to make changes.  Whether it be your weight, your job, your relationship, etc., you've decided that your life is stagnant and you want to get yourself out of the rut you find yourself in.  That's the good news!  The bad news?  You're probably doing it with the same old energy, which means that the changes you make aren't very likely to "stick". 

I've found that I am constantly preoccupied with growth.  Emotional, mental, and spiritual growth are of utmost importance to me, and anyone who truly knows me, knows this about me.  I even had a therapist remark once that she was astounded by my desire to evolve, when many of her clients had issues surrounding preferring stasis to growth.  She was quite taken aback when I replied, "Excpet that my desire for growth is predicated upon a foundation of not being good enough exactly the way that I am".

And therein lies the crux, folks.

I find, over and over again, that my attempts at growth (weight loss and management, growing and maintaining my spiritual practices, etc.), have all been predicated upon the profound belief that I am simply not good enough exactly how I am.  This is what I mean by attempting a new beginning with the same old energy.  It's no wonder that I keep "failing" at some of my most important endeavors!  I say things to myself that I would NEVER say to my child.  With my child, while I do set goals for him that I believe he can achieve, I would never berate him for not achieving those goals.  He gets congratulated when he tries and reminded that he can do ANYTHING he sets his mind to if he doesn't reach a goal.  When they are very young it is up to you to set those goals for them, and to encourage them and direct their energy so that they achieve what those goals require of them, but as they grow, if their foundation is "I am good enough to achieve anything I set my sights on", they will be able to take over that role from you, and all you will have to do from there on is be their biggest fan. 

I am not my biggest fan. 

I often think that others see more in me than I do in myself, and sometimes it leaves me feeling like a fraud.  I know that I am a highly intelligent, capable woman.  I do.  I rarely see myself as living to my fullest potential, though, and that can be painful.  I know the biggest reason for not living at 100% is because 70% of me feels like I am fundamentally not enough exactly as I am.  That is what truly needs to change, my belief in all the parts of myself, not my outward circumstances.  Today, I am beginning to understand that new beginnings using the same old energy isn't really a new beginning at all.  To change my circumstances in life, to really change them and maintain that change, I have to start seeing myself as I want my son to see himself, as a person within which lies the ability to do anything he desires because he is good enough exactly as he is.

If any of this rings a bell to you, I invite you to use this time in your life to look back on all the ways you feel you aren't good enough exactly as you are.  I know in my heart that if you positively affirm yourself in those spaces, you will grow the energy you need to achieve any goal you desire.  I will be taking this time as a "year-end inventory" as well.  We can do this together, if you like.  Reach out to me here, or on Twitter, and we will help to remind each other that we are that which we seek, and therefore can achieve anything we choose. 

We don't have to look outside of ourselves for "enoughness".  We're actually already there.

Wordless Wednesday

Little Pim Language Programs For Children

Little Pim Backpack Gift Set

I have a secret: while I am fairly bilingual, my son is not at all.  I do not think in Spanish, I think in English, and so I very rarely speak Spanish to Theo.  And when I say that I am only "fairly" bilingual, that is true.  My grandmother passed away 11 years ago and with her went the only person with whom I regularly spoke Spanish.  In the time since her passing, my Spanish has "dried up" considerably because most of my friends are either black or white Americans, and the Latino friends that I do have are very much like me in that they don't speak Spanish very often, for whatever reasons.  I'd recently spoken to a fellow Latina blogger about my sadness that I was not raising a bilingual child and she suggested that I buy some Spanish children's books to read to him, which I do plan on doing.  I also had the good fortune of meeting recently with Julia Pimsleur (the daughter of language learning program pioneer Paul Pimsleur), who created Little Pim, a language learning method for children ages 0 to 6, and I was very excited to learn about this method for two reasons: it met my goal for my son to learn Spanish, and provided an activity that he and I can do together! 

Little Pim has programs in 11 different languages, and is available in DVD or as an iPad / iPhone app.  The program is centered around Little Pim, an animated panda who speaks to children in the chosen language of the program, and is voiced by a native speaker of the language itself.  The videos are 35 minutes long and contain seven 5-minute episodes that expose children to over 360 words and phrases.  As single moms, we are always trying to find ways to enrich our children's lives, and yet we have so little time to do that with.  These programs are a great way in which we can spend a small amount of quality time with our little ones while giving them the gift of learning how to speak another language.

Right now Little Pim is having an unprecedented Black Friday sale where they are offering 40% off of everything on their site.  The language programs are already affordable, so this extra 40% off is an amazing deal; all you have to do is enter CYBERPIM at checkout.  The discount only lasts until Tuesday, November 27th, so make sure you head on over there soon!

I am super excited about this program, and I'm really happy that I will be able to start bringing Spanish into our home in a really fun way.  If you've been wanting to refresh your memory of a language you spoke as a child so that you could begin speaking it to your children, or you've always wanted to introduce a new language into your home, Little Pim is a great way to do it.  Go, and have fun - in eleven different languages!

*While I was given a complimentary Little Pim gift set to review, I have not been compensated for this post. The views and opinions expressed here are solely my own.

Climate Reality

"We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our children." - Native American Proverb

In the wake of the frightening superstorm we were just hit with, and other evidence that can no longer be ignored, there is a growing call to make climate change an important item on the agenda of our political leaders has grown exponentially.  Join The Climate Reality Project for 24 hours of reality during The Dirty Weather Report: http://climaterealityproject.org/

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday